What's your calling?
In the past several years, I've felt drawn to a closer connection with my religion and to a sense of faith. That has led to, amongst other things, this blog. I find, however, that what I had hoped to gain from this experience I do not always gain. I find myself weekly contemplating letting this effort go as a good idea that either never came to fruition or that simply was at the wrong time.
At the same time, I find myself wondering if my chosen profession is what I really want. The more I learn about the fields I study, the more I see their dark sides, the things that make the daily grind miserable. I at one time loved what I do, but with each day that excitement wanes. I fear what I really enjoy is novelty, the idea of pursuing something new, the idea of overcoming a new challenge. If that's true, must I change careers every few years just to stay stimulated? Is it possible I'm going through a quarter-life crisis, and if so, is my indecision merely something to acknowledge, or am I really on the wrong track?
What am I supposed to do? How do I decide whether to continue this blog, continue my studies, start my life anew? Where does guidance come from? I want to believe that there's a proper path for each person, a way of living life that will bring fulfillment and happiness. How do I find that path? Is the path a set of decisions I make in this world, or within my own heart and mind, or a little of both? Are there signs to guide my way?
I remember the scene where Bruce Nolan, before he becomes Almighty, is given many (literal) signs and he misses them all. Am I missing my signs? Have there been hints at to where I will succeed, where I am most needed, and most importantly where I'll be most happy? I don't believe God will step down from Heaven and hand me a memo stating what I'm supposed to do, but harkening back to some of our earlier discussions on this blog, I do think there is divine guidance to be found in the events of the day-to-day. I just wish I knew how to understand those signs.
Do you believe you have a calling? If yes, have you found it? How did or will you find it? What do the signs look like? What guidance can you share with others?
Labels: God, happiness, profession
posted by Michael A. Seidman @ 2:52 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I think that all of us go through this exact sequence of soul-searching, particularly about career paths and particularly at our age. Believe me, I've had plenty of moments where I've doubted my decision, and I've probably wanted to do finance just as long as you've wanted to do medicine, if not longer.
Unfortunately, I think there are no professions or careers that will never eventually result in boredom and routine. Our best bet is to find something that we're good at, and that we generally enjoy more than other choices.
As for keeping life interesting, I suppose that's what hobbies and diversions are for. Just because you find, say, religious history interesting, it doesn't mean that you have to quit your job and become a theologian or a religious historian. Read, learn, and enlighten yourself as best you can with the spare time that you have.
For me, at least, the problem is timing. Specifically, I find trading very interesting and enjoyable, but not always from 9:30 - 4:00, and certainly not for that many hours each day. I might feel I'd be better utilizing my time tomorrow afternoon by reading up on South American archaeology, and I'd probably be right, but I unfortunately don't have much choice in the matter.
I suppose that these sentiments are a result of the pressures that modern society has put on us. Success is measured by our salary, not by our contribution to society, although contributing is far more gratifying. Unfortunately, barring a sudden outbreak of Star Trek-esque utopian post-capitalism, we're pretty much stuck. Thus, my solution, which is to make a lot of money, quit working, and then become an academic.
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